


Kidnaped

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Gen, Kidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-25
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-16 16:27:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3495125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The band has been kidnaped and imprisoned.</p><p>Some things are never fully explained, so if that pisses you off, sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nathan woke up in the dark, alone. Something had happened at the concert, something beyond the usual chaos. He couldn’t remember. Was this the same night, the next night? Probably the same night.  
There was a small window, faint moonlight shone through it. He was in a small room made out of stone, with a heavy door. It looked like maybe a jail from an old movie, or like a dungeon or something.  
His head really fucking hurt. Running his fingers through his hair, he found a bloody lump. Great, he’d been knocked out.  
Where were the others? 

Fighting dizziness and leaning heavily against the wall, Nathan struggled to his feet and over to the window. It wasn’t barred, just tiny. There was no way in hell he could ever fit through it.  
He couldn’t see much in the pale moonlight, but there were a shitload of trees. So he was in the woods, or a jungle, or something. Yeah, it was probably just woods.  
Was he alone?  
One way to find out.  
“HEY!! GUYS? ARE YOU THERE?” Fuck, it really hurt his head to yell like that.

He got an imeadiate response.  
“Nat’an! Yer here! We were beginnin’ ta wonder.”  
“Pickles! What happened?”  
“I rally don’t know, knockout gas I think. Smelled sahmthin’ sweetish raight before everythin’ went black. Woke up a while ago, in here. Murderface is on tha other side of me, but I’m naught sure about Skwisgaar and Toki. We haven’t heard anythin’ from ‘em yet.”  
“Who brought us here?”  
“We never saw ‘em. Passed out on the stage an’ woke up locked in here. An’ my phone’s gone.”  
“Schit, mine too. There wash shomebody outshide the door earlier, but I think they left. Ah pissh, my knives are gone! Oh wait, they misshed one.”  
“My phone’s gone too! This is brutal. In a bad way. Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a bit, thinking a little, but mostly just recovering.  
Nathan had an idea. Crazy, but it just might work.  
“Hey Pickles? You still there?”  
“Where else would I be?”  
“Hey, do you have a window? In there?”  
“Naw Nat’an, I’m talkin’ to ya through tha stone wall. ‘Course I’ve gat a window.”  
“Can you fit through it? You’re kinda little, and all.”  
Pickles considered, “Hmm, maybe. It’s pretty small though.”

Then they heard a new voice. “Heys? Guys?”  
“SKWISGAAR! You’re alive! Are you okay?”  
“I don’t tink dis counts as okays, but I’s not hurts, I just wakes up in a cage. So you’s all here too?”  
“Uh, we don’t know about Toki, but Pickles and Murderface are on the other side of me.”  
“Not Toki?”  
“Dude, we don’t know. We haven’t heard from ‘em yet. How come ya _jest_ woke up? Oh raight, yer a lightweight. Wait, is Toki?”  
“Maybe he got hit with something. Like I did.”  
“Schit Nathan, you got hit?”  
“Uh yeah. I’ve got a big bloody knot on my head.”  
“That schucksh.”

“Hey Nat’an? I think I’m gonna try tha window now.” Pickles studied it, a small rectangle about chin height on him. This was not going to be easy.  
Standing on his toes, he stuck his arms through. If his shoulders would fit, his hips probably would too.  
For once in his life, Pickles was glad he was small, it was easier than he had expected. Falling from the window to the rocks below wasn’t much fun, but he managed not to do any real damage.  
Standing up, from the outside the window was above his head. He could faintly see three worried faces peering down at him. “Well, I made it.”  
“Now go see if you can like, open our doors?”  
“Okie, be raight back.”  
Pickles moved out of their sight, around the side of the building.

He was back soon. “There’s a main door, an’ it’s locked. I can’t git in. Skwisgaar, yer skinny, ya might fit, try to git through tha window.”  
“Oh Pickle, I don’ts know about dat.”  
“Try. I can pull ya from this side.”  
Skwisgaar was taller, and therefore had a better starting angle. He stuck his head and arms through, squirming, trying to work his shoulders into the gap.  
Pickles waited to see if he would fit.  
With a grunt of pain, Skwisgaar managed to push through. “Pickle? Pulls me now.”  
Grabbing his arms, Pickles helped him the rest of the way out, and they stood together in the night.

There was a groan behind them, and Nathan sunk down below his window.  
“Nat’an, are ya alreet?”  
“No, I think I’m gonna throw up.”  
“He’sh probably got a concusshion.”  
“Yah prob’ly, but what can we do ‘bout it? Hang in there Nate.”  
“Hey Picklesh, Shwiskaar, check the empty cells, shee if you can find Toki. He’d _got_ to be here shomewhere.”  
Skwisgaar tried to look in one, but failed. “The grounds is too lows, I can’t be seeing de floors inside.”  
Well, there _were_ two of them. “I’m smahller, ya can pick me up.”

They moved down the line, Skwisgaar boosting Pickles to window after window in an increasingly desperate search. Still no sign of Toki.  
“Fuck!” Pickles dropped down from the last window. “Ya don’t think they killed ‘em, do ya?”  
“Don’ts even be jokings about dat.”  
“Well, we’re all here, he should be too. He’s naught, so where is he?”  
Nathan was back in his window. “Did you find him yet?”  
“Nos! And we looks in everys damns cell.”  
“Look again. He could be like, up against the wall under the window. Where he’d be hard to see.”  
That made sense. They started working their way back up the line, Pickles pushing his whole head in, trying to see in every dark corner.

They were almost back where they’d started when Pickles let out a yell. “TOKI! Shit, he’s naught movin’! Skwisgaar, boost me higher, I’m goin’ in.”  
Pickles wormed through the window, it was a lot easier with help. He twisted as he dropped, trying to avoid landing on Toki, with success.  
Up against the wall, it was very dark.  
Nathan was impatient. “WELL PICKLES?”  
“Give me a sec, I jest got in here an’ I can’t see shit!”  
Groping, Pickles’s hand found a warm puddle. Puke or blood, he couldn’t tell, but _warm_ was probably a good sign. “Toki? Dude?” He felt around for a pulse, heartbeat, _something_.... and then found it.  
“He’s alive!”

“What’s wrongs wit him, Pickle?”  
“I don’t know, I’m lookin’. I’m naught a doctor.”  
“HEY! Check his head, that’s where they got me!”  
Pickles did (he had been about to anyway), and found the injury. Toki groaned when his fingers hit it. “Toki? Wake up dude.”  
His eyes fluttered briefly, but stayed closed. “Pickle? Hurts.”  
“Ya I know, sahmbody smacked ya a good one.”  
Skwisgaar was the only one close enough to hear. “He’s awakes?”  
“Kinda. He’s pretty out of it.”  
Toki lurched to a partial sitting position, threw up, and collapsed back against the wall.  
“Shit, he’s pretty fucked up, worse than Nat’an.”

“Pickle? You tinks we can gets him out de window?”  
“Naught like this, maybe when he wakes up some more. I’m naught sure he’ll fit though, he’s bigger than me.”  
Toki was apparently listening, or trying to. “Skwisgaar?”  
“He’s raight outside. We’re gonna try to git ya outta here, but yer gonna have ta help us.”  
“Nathan... Moiderface?”  
“Yah they’re here. Murderface is fine, but Nat’an got hit on tha head too. He seems to be doing better than you are though.”  
Toki lurched again, grabbing at Pickles. “Helps me sit up.”  
“Dude, ya sure that’s a good idea?”  
“Pickle, it’s not like I’s never been hurt befores. It’s just a concushions. Now helps me?”  
It seemed that Toki knew more about it than he did, so Pickles complied. They sat against the wall together, waiting.

After a while, Toki moved experimentally. “Okays, I think I can gets up now. Wants to see if I can fit through the window?”  
“Well okie, if yer sure?”  
Pickles helped Toki to his feet. He swayed alarmingly, but managed to stay standing. However, he was a lot less optimistic after getting his first good look at the window.  
“Damns Pickle, that thing is tinys. You fits through that?”  
“Heh, sure did, an’ so did Skwisgaar. Ya rally ready ta try it?”  
Toki nodded.  
“Hey Skwisgaar, get back over here!”

Skwisgaar had been talking with Nathan and Murderface, he now moved back to their window.  
“Toki? You is okays?”  
“Well, I’m nots going to die or anythings. Let’s does this.”  
“Alreet, if ya can git yer shoulders through, you’ll make it.”  
Pickles boosted him up, and Toki tried to squeeze through.  
“Shits, I’s stuck! Pulls me Skwisgaar!”  
Skwisgaar grabbed his arms, pulling as Pickles pushed. Together they managed to work his shoulders through, after that it was pretty easy. Toki sat propped against the wall, outside, resting, fighting to not pass out again. Skwisgaar stepped up and helped Pickles back through.

“I was talkings to Nathans whiles we was waitings. He tinks we should go into de trees and hides, in case do peoples come back.”  
“Noes! We can’t just leaves them here!”  
“Dude, we kinda don’t have a choice. They can’t get out.”  
“Well fucks.”  
“I don’t like either, but whatcha gonna do?”  
Nathan spoke up, “Hey Toki! Just go. But you know, don’t forget us.”  
“We won’t goes far.”  
“Beshides, it’sh not like they’re gonna let ush stharve.”  
“Yeah. And you like, can’t be here when they come back. So go.”  
“Picklesh, come here.” Murderface handed off his knife, the boot knife that must have been missed when they were checked. Murderface’s boots were good at repelling closer inspections.  
Pickles took it.

And so they reluctantly went, supporting Toki who was still unsteady.  
“This is fucking dildos.”  
“I knows Toki, I knows.”  
“Com’on, we gotta find sahmplace ta hide out.”  
The went into the trees.  
Eventually they came to a fallen tree that made a nice partial shelter. Pickles had been thinking on the way. “Look, I’m goin’ back, close enough to watch. If people come and open the door, maybe I can kill ‘em an’ get the keys. Skwisgaar, don’t let him sleep, that’s all I can remember ‘bout concussions. Jest try to keep him awake.”  
“Pickle, stop worrying, I’s fine.” Not very convincing, when he’d puked four more times on the way there. “Or I will be, anyways. Goes.”  
A bit reluctantly, but not knowing what else to do, Pickles turned and headed back they way they’d come.

Nathan and Murderface were talking. “So, we can’t get out. Um, what can we do?”  
“I don’t know. Wait and shee what happensh, I guessh?”  
“And why the fuck hasn’t Ofdensen come to our rescue yet?”  
“Oh schit man, I hadn’t even thought about that. What if he’sh dead? I mean, he’sh like, _gotta_ be, or he would have schaved ush by now.”  
“That’s um, really depressing. Yeah. Hey, you think Toki’s okay?”  
“How the fuck schould I know? I guessh scho, Toki’s pretty tough. What about you? You got hit in the head too.”  
“I’m.... okay. I think.”  
They couldn’t think of much else to say. This situation really sucked.

It was morning when Pickles got back, giving him his first good view of their prison. It didn’t look like a place where people came often, there wasn’t even a road. There _were_ however a faint set of tire tracks in what may have once been the road. A way out? The building itself looked even more imposing in daylight, a decrepit but solid structure.  
He found a leafy tree he could hide in to watch. Surely someone would show up soon, at least to feed them? He waited.  
None of them owned a watch (except Nathan, who only bought them to smash), and the dethphones had been taken, so it was hard to mark the passage of time. Sure there was the sun, but when you haven’t payed attention to it in years, you get really out of practice.  
Still, Pickles was convinced someone should have showed up by now, and no one had.  
He decided to risk going down and talking to them.  
If somebody turned up, he could always run.

Murderface saw him coming first, “Hey Picklesh. You schouldn’t be here, shomebody _has_ to schow up shoon.”  
“Dude, I’ve been up thet tree over there fer hours, and no sign of anyone. I don’t think they’re comin’.”  
“NOOO!! They can’t just lock us up and leave us to die!”  
“Chill, worst case scenario, nobody feeds ya and ya git skinny enough ta escape.”  
“Pickles. Look at me. Even if I was just bones, I couldn’t fit through that window. Maybe Murderface could, but face it, I’m not getting out of here.  
“That’sh a truly depreshing thought.”  
“Look, there’s nothing you can do for us, we’re probably gonna die. Or at least I am. Go back to Skwisgaar and Toki. But, you know, maybe come back later?”  
Sadly, Pickles went.

Arriving back at the fallen tree, he found an odd scene awaiting him. Skwisgaar was sitting against the tree cradling a very unconscious Toki, and there were two dead rabbits lying beside them.  
“Pickle, you’s back! You didn’t gets dem out?”  
Pickles shook his head, “Nah, nobody showed up. What happ’ned ta Toki? And where’d tha rabbits come from?”  
“He catched dem and kills dem. Den he passes out agains, and I can’ts wakes him up. And I has no idea what to do wit de rabbits.”  
Pickles knelt beside them, making an attempt to examine Toki better now that he could actually see him. He didn’t look so hot, but at least he was still alive. Could people die from getting hit on the head, if it didn’t kill them outright? He didn’t know. The blood in his hair was dry, flaking loose like rusty dandruff as Pickles carefully checked his wound. It was a surprisingly small cut (on a big knot), but head injuries did tend to bleed a lot.  
Skwisgaar was awaiting his verdict. “Wells? Is he okays?”  
Pickles shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess so. Wish he’d wake up though.”  
“Me toos.”

Pickles considered the rabbits. “Well I think I can manage ta butcher these, an’ I’ve still got my lighter.”  
“We's going to _eat_ dem?”  
“Heh, what else would we do with ‘em? Yah, we’re gonna eat ‘em, and I’m gonna take some to Nat’an and Murderface too.”  
Using Murderface’s knife, Pickles quickly, although somewhat messily, skinned the rabbits, and gutted them. He really didn’t know what else to do, so he began to gather wood to attempt cooking them, making a pile.  
“Pickle? You needs help?”  
“Nah, I gat it, jest take care of Toki.”  
“Oh, and we finds water, if you is thirstys. Right down dat hill.”  
“Ya think it’s safe ta drink?”  
“Toki says so, I’s goings to trust him on dis one.”  
“Okie.”

It took a couple tries, but Pickles managed to get a small fire going. He jammed the rabbits on a couple of forked sticks, and pointed them over the fire.  
How long does it take a rabbit to cook? He had no idea.  
He sat, staring into the flames, lost in though.  
“Pickle, you gots to turn them overs or they’ll burn.” Toki sat down beside him.  
“Dude, yer awake! Yah, I don’t rally know what I’m doin’ here.”  
“Yous doing fine.”  
“Hey, how’d ya manage ta catch them anyway? Little fuckers are fast.”  
Toki shrugged. “Used to do it, when I was littles. Figured I still could. Just grabbed them and breaks their necks.”  
“Impressive.”  
Skwisgaar walked up and dumped am armload of wood next to the fire, then sat on Toki’s other side.  
“Don’t be passing out in de fires now, maybes you shoulds move back?”  
“I’s fine, stop worrying abouts me.”

Toki said the rabbits looked done, so Pickles took them off the fire.  
A bit hesitantly, they sampled one. It was very tough and tasted kind of strange, but it was food.  
Toki ate very slowly and carefully, he didn’t want to end up puking again. Head injuries were tricky things.  
Between them, the finished one whole rabbit, tossing the bones in the fire as they went.

Pickles sighed. “Well, I gotta take this other rabbit to Nat’an an’ Murderface. It didn’t look like anybody was gonna show up an’ feed ‘em.”  
Skwisgaar stood up. “I will goes. Yous went last times.”  
“Okie, if ya rally wanna go. Take tha knife though. If tha people show up, do ya think ya can kill ‘em?”  
Skwisgaar wavered, but looked determined. “Ja I think I can tries, if I has to. Ja.”  
“Skwisgaar? Grabs them from behind and cuts their fucking throat. Gots it?”  
He nodded, frowning. They watched him stick the knife in his belt, making sure it was secure. Then he picked up the rabbit and headed off.  
“Be carefuls!”  
Without looking back, he waved in acknowledgment as he moved out of sight.  
They watched him leave.


	2. Chapter 2

Toki and Pickles were sitting together in front of the dying fire.  
“Hey Pickle? Why hasn’t the managers come for us?”  
Pickles had thought about that a little and didn’t like any of his conclusions, so he tried to ignore the question. “Shouldn’t ya be layin’ down?”  
Toki sighed, “Ya, probablys. But I’s okays.”  
“Nah, com’on, lay down. Ya gotta take care of yourself, ya can even use me fer a pillow.”  
Toki complied, his damn head injury was making him dizzy again. “Yous avoiding my question.”  
“Yah I know, sahrry. Tha way I see it, he would have come fer us if he could, so sahmthin’ must have happened to him.”  
“You thinks he’s dead, don’ts you?”  
“I don’t know. I mean, how’d they even git past him in tha first place? An’ if they have ‘em, why isn’t he here with us? Unless he was in on it, an’ I don’t even wanna think ‘bout thet.”  
“This is pretty fucks up.”  
“Ya said it.”

“What happen if nobodys come for us?”  
“Well, there’s a road, kinda a road, it’s gotta lead ta sahmwhere. I guess we might have to follow it an’ see what happens.”  
“We can’ts leave Nathan and Moiderface! We can’ts!”  
“Hey, hey, I don’t wanna leave them either, but we may not have a choice.”  
“We has to gets them out!”  
“I rally wish we could, but.... Look, if Murderface loses weight, we _might_ be able to get him out. The chances aren’t good, I mean, _you_ barely fit. But Nat’ans too big, there’s jest no way. I’m sahrry.”  
Toki sat up. “We’s getting them out!”  
“Whoa, calm down, lie back down, ya need ta rest. We’re gonna wait, maybe we’ll figure sahmthin’ out, maybe sahmbody will come fer us. Com’on, lie down.”  
Toki sighed and lay down again. “Fucks.”

Skwisgaar had reached the building. There was no sign of other people, so he approached.  
“Nathans? Murderfaces? I broughts you food.”  
They appeared in their windows.  
“Skwisgaar!”  
“Ish that a rabbit? How’d you get a rabbit?”  
“Toki catched it, Pickle cooks it, and I brings it to yous. We’s already ates de udder one.”  
Murderface motioned him over, “Give it to me, I’ll cut it up and you can hand Nathan hish parts.”  
It didn’t take him long to cut it up, and Skwisgaar delivered Nathan’s half.  
“Oh man, nobody’s come all day. I’m really hungry!”  
Skwisgaar sat against the wall under their windows while they ate. “Nathans? We finds water, but I’s can’t be tinking of a ways to carry it.”  
“Oh, we like, have water. For now anyway. There’s some sort of system, no idea how it works. But we’re good. Unless Murderface pissed in his.”  
“HEY! I’m not shtupid, I wouldn’t pissh in the only water I have!”  
“Well dat’s good den.”

The sun was beginning to set.  
“I gots to go backs, I don’ts know if I could finds dem in de dark.”  
“Yeah, you better go then. Don’t forget us!”  
“I couldn’t be forgetting yous if I wanteds to.”  
“And shee if you can bring ush more food!”  
“Dat’s kind of ups to Toki I tink, I don’ts know how to catch anythings. Maybe Pickle does, I don’ts know. But we will brings yous stuff when we has it.”  
“Hey, yeah, how is Toki?”  
Skwisgaar shrugged, he’d never paid attention to sick or injured people, so he really had nothing to go on. “He’s okays... I guess?”  
“That’s good. You’re uh, losing the light. So I guess you better go now.”  
Shit, did the sun always set this fast? “Ja. Sees you laters.”  
Skwisgaar jogged off into the trees. He detested jogging, but he really didn’t want to end up lost in the woods in the dark.

But that’s just what he did.  
He knew he had to be close, but suddenly he just wasn’t sure. Just _which_ big tree was it that they were close to? The light was almost gone, he was out of time. He heard something moving off to his right, some animal? Skwisgaar froze, every time he’d watched the yard wolves eat people going through his head. Afraid of drawing attention to himself, but not knowing what else to do, he called for them. “TOKI! PICKLE! WHERE IS YOUS?!”  
Silence was the only reply.  
The last of the light faded, he was alone in the dark.  
He stood frozen in place, afraid that if he moved he’d start running and not be able to stop.  
Things moved softly around him.

He screamed as the wolf grabbed his arm, flailing wildly.  
The wolf grunted when he hit it.  
“Skwisgaar! Stops it, it’s just me!”  
Not a wolf, Toki. It was just Toki, come to find him. He sagged in relief.  
“Oh fucks Toki, dere’s wolfs and tings out heres! We’s going to gets eaten!”  
“Calms down, wolfs won’t hurt us, if there even is anys. They’s not going to eat peoples.”  
“I know dat is de bullshits, I watch de wolfs eat peoples all de time!”  
“Onlys our wolfs, because they’s been taught since they’s real littles to eats people, wild wolfs won’t bother yous. We let the fire goes out in case peoples is looking for us, but you’s real close. Come on.”  
Skwisgaar allowed Toki to lead him, wondering how the hell he could even see. It was really dark out here.

Oh, they were close, he could just barely make out the fallen tree now.  
“Dude, he found ya, good. We we’re gettin’ worried ‘bout ya.”  
“Hi Pickle. What’s dis?”  
“Heh, we built a little shelter. Nothin’ fancy, but it makes ya feel safer. Com’on in.”  
Against the fallen tree, they’d built a lean-to of sorts, branches and vines interwoven to make crude walls. Ducking down, Skwisgaar followed them in.  
It _did_ give the illusion of being somewhere safe. There was enough room for all three of them to lay down and stretch out comfortably.  
They all fell asleep rather quickly, it had been a long day.

Skwisgaar woke up alone, surprised to see that it was morning. He’d been sure that every little noise would wake him, but apparently not. He sat up.  
He saw Toki was sitting quietly a little way from him, so he headed over.  
It was actually very nice out here, if you were into this sort of thing. Oddly peaceful, and pretty. The sounds of the birds and other stuff was rather soothing. What were those things anyway? Bugs? Frogs? He had no idea.  
He sat down next to Toki, noting that Pickles was nowhere in sight.  
“Heys, where’s Pickle?”  
“He went backs. Said he wants to scouting somethings, he’ll come back laters.”  
“Yous is doing better todays? You was worrying us, passing outs and dat sort of ting.”  
“Ya, I think I’s pretty good now.”  
They sat in silence for a bit, just being.

Toki stood up. “Well, we gots to eat todays, let’s go fishings.”  
“Fishings? How’s we going to does dat? We don’t gots no poles.”  
“We catch them with our hands, it’s not too hards. I can teach yous, easy.”  
Skwisgaar was doubtful, fish were something that just appeared on his plate, not something he’d ever had to mess with. Still, he did want to be useful. “Okays. Is you sures we can does dis?”  
“Ya. Besides, we’s got the fastest hands in the world, right? Fish don’t stands a chance.”  
They headed down the hill to the stream.  
Now they just had to find the perfect spot.

Pickles was walking up the road. He’d briefly stopped by the prison first to reassure Nathan and Murderface that they’d all survived the night, and hadn’t forgotten about them.  
He’d wanted to scout out this road a bit, see what he could find. It had to lead to somewhere.  
He’d been walking for a while now, and there was still no sign of anything but trees. The road twisted and turned, weaving through the woods.  
Finally, he could see a glint of something up ahead. Moving very cautiously now, he drew his knife and eased his way closer.  
There was a dead guy in the road, blood on his clothes.

Pickles stopped, on alert. If there was a dead guy, then there must be somebody who had killed him.  
Everything was quiet. That didn’t rule out snipers of course, but this seemed an unlikely place for a stakeout. Moving around the dead guy and off the road, he continued on. He could always roll that guy later, he wouldn’t be going anywhere.  
Keeping just off the road and (hopefully) concealed by the brush, he forged ahead.  
There was another dead guy, just off the road this time. He kept going.  
Finally he could see it clearly, a truck. Camo-painted and stripped of it’s labels, he could only guess at it’s make, maybe an old Bronco or something like that.  
And there was another dead guy, this time inside.

Feeling braver since he hadn’t been shot at yet, Pickles approached the vehicle.  
The corpse was kind of in his way, so he gave it a yank, dumping it out onto the ground. He climbed into the truck.  
There was a key in the ignition. There was gas. There were also bullet holes in the hood. So maybe it would run and maybe it wouldn’t. He decided to check the bodies first, maybe they belonged to their captors, maybe they had the keys to the jail.  
As he turned to the one he’d just dumped out, he noticed for the first time that, other than the lack of hood, it looked like a Klokateer. He went through all the pockets he could find, and found nothing at all.  
Backtracking to the other bodies, he had no better luck. Either they had carried nothing to start with, or someone else had already picked them clean.  
But way did they leave the truck? It probably wouldn’t run.

Back at the stream, Toki had taken off his boots and rolled up his jeans.  
They’d found what he said was a perfect spot, a deeper pool where the stream made a sharp bend. In the shadows of the bank, he pointed to the fish that were resting there.  
“Sees? Fishes like to sit in places like that. We just sneaks up and grabs them. Watch, I’ll gets the first one.”  
Toki waded into the stream, it was a little deeper there than he’d expected.  
“Toki, you’s getting your pants wet.”  
“Don’ts care. Watch.”  
Slowly, knee deep in the stream, he crept up behind a fish.  
“You wants to grab for the head, because when you touches it, it’s going to shoot forwards. If you goes for the body, it will gets away. They’s slippery, so yous got to grab it hard, and then throw it far enough it can’t gets back to the waters.”  
Quickly, he did just that. Skwisgaar flinched as the fish flew past his head, landing in the leaves behind him.  
Toki climbed out, dripping. “Let’s eat this one, then we can catches more.”

Eat? “But Pickle has de fires, we can’t cooks anyting.”  
Toki grinned at him. “Fishes is okay to eats raw. That’s all sushi is you knows.”  
He grasped the fish firmly by the tail and swung it hard into a tree, killing it. A quick dunk in the stream cleaned the dirt off.  
Then to Skwisgaar’s horror, he sunk his teeth into the stomach and tore out a bloody chunk. Spitting that out, he reached into the hole and scooped out the guts, dumping them in the water.  
“Won’ts dat scare de udder fishes away?”  
“Noes, they’s just eats it.”  
Taking a good grip on the fish, Toki grabbed the edge of the skin in his teeth and pulled. It took a few tries, but the fish was skinned. He snapped off the head and tossed it in the water.  
“Okay, we eats now. Be carefuls, there’s lots of little bones in these things.”  
Hesitantly, Skwisgaar tried it.  
Just keep thinking sushi.  
It really wasn’t all that bad after all. They ate the whole fish.

Murderface heard it first. “Nathan! HEY NATHAN!”  
Nathan came to his window. “What?”  
“Lishten, shomebody’s coming.”  
They could hear a vehicle approaching, growing louder.  
“I wisch I shtill had my knife. Or another knife, whichever.”  
Since the road was on the front side of their prison, they couldn’t see anything, only listen helplessly as the vehicle came to a stop and the engine was killed.  
They turned to face their doors, ready.

A yell from behind them made them jump frantically back to their windows.  
“Pickles, get out of here! Somebody’s here! Run!”  
“Nah, calm down, it’s jest me. I found a truck, an’ some dead guys.”  
“GREAT! So drive into the wall and bust us out!”  
“Dude, I think thet only works in tha movies.”  
“Yeah, itsh more likely he’d jusht hurt himsehelf and kill the truck.”  
“Oh. Okay then, uh, don’t.”  
“Scho tell ush about the dead guysh you shaw.”  
“I think they mighta’ve been Klawk’teers. I didn’t see any hoods, but tha clothes looked ‘bout tha same. No ID’s, no nothing’.  
“Did you check them for our brands?”  
“Shit! Naw, didn’t think ‘bout it.”  
“Well like, how did they die?”  
Sahmbody shot ‘em.”  
“Brutal.”  
“Look, I’m leavin’ tha truck here. If we can ever git ya out, we’ve gat a way to git sahmwhere. I’m gonna go back ta Toki an’ Skwisgaar, maybe they’ve found us more food.”  
“Alright. Well uh, we’ll be here.”  
“Bring ush shome food!”  
“Ya know we will.” Pickles headed off into the woods.

Skwisgaar was sitting barefoot on the bank in his wet jeans, feeling quite proud of himself. He’d caught a fish on his first try, even though he’d been nervous. Working side by side, they’d managed to catch six fish, that should be enough to feed them all.  
Toki had gutted them, the same way he did the first one, so they wouldn’t spoil. They were waiting for Pickles to get back so they could cook them.  
Toki came back with a piece of vine and threaded it through the fishes’s gills like a rope, making them easy to carry.  
They walked back up the hill, carrying their shoes. The leaves underfoot felt strange, and Skwisgaar was worried about stepping on something harmful. He didn’t really want to get his boots wet though, and his jeans were still dripping. Being barefoot didn’t seem to phase Toki any, so he tried his best to ignore his discomfort.  
Toki hung the string of fish on a branch, and they sat in a sunny spot to dry.

And so Pickles came back to find the two barefoot guitarists lounging in the sun, looking very lazy.  
“Guys, are ya jest gonna lay ‘round all day?”  
Skwisgaar just smirked and pointed to the fish.  
“Whoa Toki, dude, you caught fish?”  
“Skwisgaar catches half of them.”  
“Wow.”  
“Ja Pickle, we was waitings for yous to come back so we’s can cooks dem.”  
“Oh hell yeah, let’s cook ‘em. Damn ya already gat tha wood fer it too? Ya guys are good.”  
While Pickles got the fire going, Toki put the fish on sticks, jamming on end into the head and placing a small stick crosswise to hold it inside, and hold the fish open for cooking.  
They each took two sticks, and roasted the fish.

As they ate, Pickles told them about what he’d found. Toki apparently shared Nathan’s taste in movies, because he too asked why they didn’t just ram into the wall.  
When Pickles explained why that would probably be a really bad idea, he just nodded thoughtfully.  
Skwisgaar was thinking too. “Maybes we can uses de truck to breaks de door? Somehows?”  
“Ya, is there any chain or somethings in it?”  
Pickles had no idea. “I didn’t even think ta look. But tha door’s pretty flat.”  
“We can all goes when we takes them the fishes, looks at it.”  
“Hey, how come ya guys aren’t eating as much as I am?”  
“Oh we ates one earlier.”  
“ _Raw?_ Eww.”  
“Oh Pickle, it’s just like sushis.”  
Pickles was not convinced.  
They finished eating, and Toki restrung the remaining fish to take with them.  
Their jeans were still damp, but not enough to matter. They put their boots back on and were ready to go.

Nathan saw them first. “Hey Murderface! We’ve got company! And food!”  
Together they watched them come the rest of the way.  
This was Toki’s first time to really get a good look at the place, and it was daunting. He handed over the fish to his hungry and grateful bandmates.  
Pickles called up at them, “Hey Nat’an? We’re gonna go check the door, see if we can come up with anythin’ ta try. Com’on guys.”  
They followed him around the building to get their first look at the door, and the truck.  
Toki took one look at the door, shook his head sadly, and went straight to the back of the truck. There was a lot of rattling and banging, apparently there was a lot of crap in there.  
Skwisgaar studied the door. It looked really solid, there wasn’t even a window in it. He kicked it experimentally. Yes, pretty solid.  
Pickles joined Toki in the truck. “Damn there’s a lotta crap in here.”  
“Ya, but it’s mostlies just crap.”

Then he found it, an ax. Triumphantly he yanked it free and stalked toward the door.  
“Dude, that door’s like rally thick, do ya rally think ya can chop through it?”  
“You gots a better idea?”  
“Nah, naught rally.”  
Toki nodded curtly, and swung. The ax bit into the tough old wood, but not very deep. Working it free, he swung again, putting everything he had into it.  
Chips flew, but this was one hell of a door, it wasn’t going to be easy.  
Feeling useless, Pickles and Skwisgaar backed well out of his way.  
“Hey, I’m gonna go tell ‘em what’s goin’ on, okie?”  
Toki ignored him and kept chopping. Pickles went back around the building.

They were waiting, confused. “Hey Pickles! What the hell is that?”  
“Toki found an ax, he’s choppin’ at tha door.”  
“Oh. Well uh, is it working?”  
“Ish he going to schave ush?”  
“It might work. It’s a rally heavy door though, an’ hard.”  
They listened to the steady chopping, hoping.  
Then it stopped, and Skwisgaar started yelling. “PICKLE! GETS BACK HERES!”  
“Ah shit!” Pickles ran back around the building.  
Toki was down, with Skwisgaar kneeling over him. “He just fells, Pickle. I tink he passes out again.”  
Pickles knelt with them. “Yah, I think yer right. I totally fergot about his head injury, he’s been actin’ so normal today. I guess this was jest too much fer him.”

Skwisgaar picked up the ax and strode over to the door.  
“Dude, ya ever used an ax before?”  
“Nej.”  
He swung, and was relieved to see some chips fly. Maybe he could do this. Encouraged, he kept swinging.  
But all too soon it seemed, the growing pain in his hands stopped him. He hadn’t managed to do all that much damage to the door at all. “Fucks. Pickle, I don’t tink I can does more, I’s getting bad blisters.”  
“Oh man, stop then! Don’t hurt yerself, that’s naught gonna help us any. Com’ere, let me look at ‘em.”  
Skwisgaar sat back beside him showing his hands. Several large blisters were rising already. “Well yer both fucked, I might as well give it a shot. I used ta chop a little when I was a kid, fer fun.”  
“Don’t hurts yourself Pickle.”  
“I won’t.”

Pickles chopped at the door for a bit, with less force than Skwisgaar but more precision, sparing his hands. He managed to deepen the dent Toki had started, but there was still a lot of door left. He put down the ax, and walked back around to report.  
“Hey guys? We didn’t get too far on thet door. Toki passed out again, Skwisgaar fucked up his hands, an’ I’m jest tired. We’ll do more tomahrrow, okie?”  
“Toki passed out again? I though he was okay!”  
“I guess he’s naught that okie.”  
“He’sh got a concusshion, it takesh a couple weeksh to be completely okay.”  
“I was thinkin, since nobody’s showed up, we could jest stay here tonight.”  
Nathan did not agree. “No, I want you to go back. So I know you’re safe, you know, just in case.”  
“Okie. Well, I’m gonna go see if Toki’s woke up yet.”  
He went back around the building.

Toki was sitting up, sort of, with his head resting on his raised knees. Skwisgaar still sat beside him.  
“Toki, can ya walk? Nat’an wants us to go back, jest in case.”  
Toki looked up and made a face. “Damns fucking head injurys. Damns fucking big ass door. This sucks.”  
“Don’ts be too hard on yourselfs, yous did better dan both of us togethers.”  
He looked surprised. “You chopped?”  
Skwisgaar proudly showed his damaged hands.  
“Fucks Skwisgaar, why’s you do that? That’s got to reallys hurt.”  
“Ja, but I don’ts care.”  
“I can walk, helps me up yous two.”  
They did, and headed back around the building together.  
Nathan and Murderface were glad to see Toki back up and moving.  
“Get outta here you guys, it’s getting dark. Go.”  
They went.


	3. Chapter 3

Charles had woken up, locked in some building, two days ago. He had been beaten, but not very badly. It seemed that whoever it was mostly just wanted to slow him down, not really hurt him. He’d never even seen the person or people who did this, he must be losing his touch. Or maybe he just wasn’t as recovered as he liked to think he was.  
It hadn’t taken him too long to pick the lock and escape. There was no one else around, he was alone. Making his way out, he noted that he seemed to be in an abandoned industrial area. There were absolutely no signs of life.  
After walking for hours, he finally made it to a working phone.  
The news was worse than he’d feared, the boys were gone. As he waited for someone to come get him, he spoke with his second highest rated security officer.  
A call had come in not long after the incident. In Ofdensen’s absence, it had been properly directed to the high security chief.  
The man had been instructed to trust no one, and had therefore told his second very little, which he now related.

The person on the phone had made demands, he didn’t know what kind. He claimed to have the band imprisoned somewhere remote. If his (unknown) demands weren’t met precisely, they would simply be left to die.  
The high chief had taken full responsibility for this mission. He had selected only two fellow Klokateers to accompany him, both long time employees with an excellent record of loyalty and bravery. They had left that morning for the (unknown) rendevous point, and never returned. Attempts to contact them had been futile, and they were presumed to be dead.  
No other calls of any importance had come in. It seemed that whoever was behind this truly intended to leave them to die, wherever they were.  
This didn’t make sense. What had they wanted? Why weren’t there at least a ransom demands? And if they simply wanted Dethklok dead, why not just kill them outright?  
Charles had the building he’d woken up in run through all kinds of checks, but nothing remotely suspicious had come up. It seemed that it had just been a convenient place to dump him. He was clearly not the target, they’d just wanted him out of the way and didn’t really care if he lived or died.

Soon he was back at Mordhaus, organizing around the clock task forces. They had to find them, there was no other option. Locked up without care, they could be dead in three days, and time was running out fast.  
Charles consulted with everyone he could think of, everyone is his vast network of contacts, but nobody anywhere seemed to know anything at all about this.  
He poured over satellite images, looking for remote and forgotten buildings. If it was really overgrown the trees would most likely hide it, but he had to try. The few possibilities he had located hadn’t panned out, but he kept looking.  
Scientific analysis of some blood found on the stage had come back as Toki’s, so he knew that at least he had been injured in some way.  
It had been two days now, and still there was nothing, no sign of them at all.  
The clock was ticking.

 

In the woods, morning had come. Toki lay in the shelter, staring at the trees through the gaps in the wall, thinking. Unfortunately, he still hadn’t been able to come up with anything better than chopping through the door, slowly. Leaving them was not an option.  
Next to him, Skwisgaar stretched, waking up. “Well fucks, we’s still heres. I was havings de bestest dream too.”  
“Ya, we’s still here. Hey Pickle, you awakes?”  
“Mmmfffh.”  
“I guess nots.”  
“Toki? Shoulds we catches more fish todays?”  
“Ya probablys, that’s easiest. Pickle, if you’s alive, we’re going fishings.”  
“Mmfh.”  
They got up and headed down the hill.

The fish were there, all the “food” they’d dumped yesterday had them waiting.  
They took their boots off and waded in, careful not to spook them.  
Skwisgaar caught the first one, flinging it up the bank with a sharp hiss of pain. Fortunately it went far enough to be safe. Realizing what must have happened, Toki grabbed his hands.  
The fish’s fin had sliced open one of his blisters, it was oozing freely and had to hurt like hell.  
“Damnit Skwisgaar, I forgots about your hands. You can’t s be fishings like this, you should have says something.”  
His hands really needed to be wrapped, but they really didn’t have anything to use for that. A shirt would work, but sleeping on the ground without a shirt would really suck. Well, he didn’t really need his sleeves, did he?  
Tearing the sleeves from his t-shirt, Toki wrapped them around Skwisgaar’s hands. Not great, but it would have to do.  
“I wills catch the fish, you just kicks them if they tries to get back in the waters, okays?”  
Skwisgaar nodded, feeling useless. “You’s not goings to pass outs, is you?”  
“Not froms this.”

When Pickles came down a little later, Toki was still at it. They were up to seven fish, and Skwisgaar had only needed to kick one.  
“That’s a lotta fish. Anythin’ I can do ta help?”  
Toki pointed. “Yous can clean those.”  
“Okie.” Pickles took the knife and went to work.  
Skwisgaar started gathering wood, causing Toki to protest. “Skwisgaar, your hands. Yous shouldn’t be doings that.”  
“They’s all wrapped up, I’s fine. Don’ts worry abouts me.”  
Toki caught a couple more fish who had been attracted to the food Pickles was dumping in the water, and they decided that they had enough.  
The plan was to cook them, then head back to the prison and eat there.  
Copying what he’s watched Pickles do, Skwisgaar got the fire going while they skewered the fish.  
Soon they had them all cooked, and strung together in two bunches.  
They headed for the prison.

Murderface was overjoyed to be fed before noon. They all ate some, not talking much.  
Nathan had been thinking, now he just had to say it. “Look. Why don’t you three go? You know, take the truck, like, get to somewhere?”  
Toki looked at him with that stubborn expression he got. “Noes, we’s not leaving you.”  
“Toki... You guys can go. You can’t hang around here forever feeding us and shit. We may never get out, so like, you’re just dragging things out here.”  
“Moiderface? You thinks we should goes too?”  
“Yesh. It schucks but he’sh right, there’sh probably no hope for ush.”  
“Dude, are ya serious? Ya rally want us ta leave?”  
Toki stood up. “I said NOES!” He strode off around the corner, and they heard the ax as he attacked the door.  
“Shits. I betters go watch out for hims.” Skwisgaar got up and went around too.

Toki was chopping at the door.  
“Toki? TOKI! Stops!”  
He swung again, hard, then dropped the ax, turning on Skwisgaar. “WHATS?! You wants to leave them too, don’ts you?! Just gives up?!”  
Skwisgaar backed up a few steps, Toki really wasn’t safe when he got all worked up. “Nej, no, I _don’ts_ wants to. I just don’ts know what to be doesing anymore.”  
“Fine! Goes if you wants to! _I_ can feeds them and takes care of them, and I _will_ gets them out!”  
“Toki, calms down. I’s not going to be leavings you here.”  
He turned, leaning against the door. Skwisgaar waited.  
Suddenly he pushed away. Ignoring Skwisgaar, he picked up the ax and went back to work.  
“Toki, yous can chop if you wants to. Just don’ts be pushing yourself too hards, takes breaks.”  
There was no reply.

Soon after, Pickles came around to their side.  
“Hey Toki, com’on, give me a turn. Go sit down an’ rest, before ya pass out again.”  
“I’s not going to pass out!” But he handed over the ax, and went to sit against the wall beside Skwisgaar.  
Pickles went to work. The door was beginning to really show some damage, but it was far from defeated.  
They alternated, trading off and resting, more and more resting as the day wore on.  
Skwisgaar helped when he could, mostly by bringing them water in a cup he’d found in the truck.  
“Hey, hows comes mine hands tore ups so fast, and yous both still choppings?”  
“Well dude, it’s like this. If ya don’t hit _jest_ right, tha handle will kinda jump an’ twist in yer hands. Thet’s what hap’ned to ya. Me an’ Toki, we jest know how ta do it raight.”  
That made sense, although I still sucked.

They all went around the back and shared the rest of the fish.  
The earlier conversation had left them in an uncomfortable silence, which really bothered Nathan.  
“So uh, how’s the door coming?”  
“Well dude, naught so hot actually. An’ I thing we’re about done fer tha day.”  
“Oh. Well okay.”  
“You guysh schould really jusht leave ush.”  
Pickles jumped on that, “Naught gonna happen, don’t talk ‘bout it.” _Don’t_ upset Toki again. He really didn’t want Toki chopping anymore today, he had to be about done for by now. True, he’d been holding up surprisingly well, but this couldn’t be good for him. Besides, the sun was getting low.  
There was still so much door....  
“Com’on guys, let’s go back ta camp an’ rest.”  
Somewhat reluctantly, they left, getting back just after dark.

When Skwisgaar woke up, it was still dark. What had woken him up? Sitting up in confusion, he noticed that Toki was gone.  
“Pickle? Pickle, wakes up! Toki’s gones!” He poked him in the side.  
“Mfh.... whatdaya want?”  
“Toki’s gones.”  
That woke him up the rest of the way. He pushed himself up, trying to peer into the darkness. They couldn’t really see much of anything though.  
“Shoulds we go looks for him?”  
“Nah, where’d we look? We’d prab’ly jest git lost anyway.”  
“We’s got to does sometings.”  
“Well I rally don’t see any options here, so I think we’re gonna just have to trust thet Toki knows what he’s doin’. I’m gonna try ta sleep sahm more, all thet choppin’ is killin’ me. My shoulders rally fuckin’ hurt.”  
“Wants me to rubs dem for yous?”  
“Yah, that’d be great. Wait- can ya? With yer hands?”  
“I’s can manages. Lays down.”  
It hurt very badly, several more of his blisters had broken during the day. But they were wrapped, and as long as the others couldn’t see them, they wouldn’t worry about him too much. He changed the angle, using mostly his undamaged fingertips, and that was a lot better.  
After a bit, Pickles seemed to be asleep.  
“Pickle? If you’s still awakes, I’s going back to sleeps now.”  
Hopefully Toki would come back.

A noise woke them up, it was morning. Looking out, they saw Toki walking around, gathering more wood. A pile of something furry lay on the ground.  
“Damn Toki, did ya even sleep?”  
“A littles.”  
Skwisgaar approached the furry pile. “What is dese things anyways?”  
“I don’t knows, but they comes out at night and don’t runs fast enough. Maybe Pickle knows?”  
Pickles walked over and sorted them. “Well I guess we’re eatin’ varmint today. We’ve gat three ‘possums an’ a coon. How’d ya catch a coon anyway? They’re pretty mean.”  
“Ya, had to smacks that one with a branch first, he tries to fight me. You eats them befores?”  
“Naw, but I know some people do. Now go take a nap or sahmthin’, we’ll deal with ‘em.”  
Toki nodded and went and sat against a tree. Pickles went to work on the critters while Skwisgaar found more wood.  
When they looked again, Toki had curled up and fallen asleep.

They sat together, roasting the meat.  
“Look dude, I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout what Nat’an said. Ya know, leavin’ and findin’ help. If we give ‘em all these and jest go, they’ll be okay fer a couple days.”  
Skwisgaar sighed and turned his skewers over. “Toki won’t leaves dem, we talks about it a littles yesterdays. And I don’t wants to leave him heres.”  
“Yah, I don’t either. It’s jest... we’re naught gonna git through that door fer a couple more days, an’ then what? What if we have ta chop through tha cell doors too? It’s jest too much.”  
“I’s been tinking too. I’s going to helps you chops today.”  
“Ya can’t, yer hands...”  
“Dey’s wrapped, so I can’ts makes dem worse, rights?”  
“Well prab’ly naught, but do ya have any idea how much thet’s gonna hurt?”  
“Ja.”  
“Well... if ya think ya can take it, okie.”  
They finished their cooking, and sat back to wait for Toki to wake up. 

He slept about another hour.  
“Damnits, why’s you lets me sleep so long?”  
“Ya needed it. But we can go now, if yer ready.”  
They picked up the food, and headed to the prison. The path had quickly grown familiar to all of them.  
“Hey Pickle, You think we can gets through that door today?”  
“Prob’ly naught, but we can try. An’ Skwisgaar says he’s gonna help.”  
Toki turned to him. “Noes you can’t, your hands!”  
“Well I is goings to.”  
“Lets me look at your hands.” He made a grab for one.  
“No Toki, leaves dem alones!”  
“You can’ts chop.”  
“You can’ts stops me!”  
“Guys, com’on, we can’t start fightin’ now.”  
They arrived, ending further discussion.

They handed up some meat, and Toki headed off.  
Nathan tried to stop him, “Toki! At least eat first!”  
He ignored them, and they heard the chopping start up again.  
They ate. The food wasn’t exactly tasty, but it was food.  
“So uh, did you think any more? About what we said?”  
“Well, it comes down to this. Toki won’t leave ya two here, an’ we don’t rally wanna leave all three of ya behind.”  
“You shee, we don’t really want to be left either, but... thish really schucks. Pissh.”  
“And hey, like anyway, why hasn’t Ofdensen come for us? Already?”  
“Dude, tha way I see it, he must either be dead, or in on it. Otherwise he’d rescue us, raight?”  
“That’sh depresshing, but we kind of think the schame thing.”  
Skwisgaar had heard enough of this, he stood up. “I’s going to go takes a turn nows.”

Toki was still chopping. Knowing better than to demand he stop, Skwisgaar sat down to wait his turn. Pickles came around and joined them.  
The rhythm of the ax was steady, chips flying around them.  
Then the rhythm faltered, instantly getting their attention. Toki staggered a little, and swung again, clumsily. Then he dropped the ax.  
They were on their feet in an instant.  
“Shit! Toki, dude, sit down an’ rest! Yer workin’ yerself too hard!”  
He swayed, but allowed them to lead him into the shade, sinking down against the cool wall gratefully.  
Skwisgaar picked up the ax.  
“Noes Skwisgaar, don’t do its.”  
“Shut ups Toki.”

Skwisgaar swung at the door. FUCK that hurt. That really, really fucking hurt.  
Pickles kindly offered a lesson. “Don’t swing so hard, aim. Try ta keep it nice an’ level. As fer tha pain, I saw sahmthin’ on tv where ya can only feel so much, then that’s it, it can’t git worse.”  
Skwisgaar nodded, and swung again.  
Oh, angle did make a difference. It still hurt a lot, but not in the same way. And even with less force, the ax bit deeper. Encouraged, he gritted his teeth and kept working.  
The pain was huge, but he did his best to ignore it, and kept working. Pickles was right, it only got so bad, and then that was all.  
He chopped for a while, then yielded to Pickles.  
By the time Pickles tired, Toki was wanting another turn.  
When he seemed tired again, Pickles shoved him toward the side of the building. “Toki, go EAT.”  
This time he listened.

They traded off all day, working steadily.  
It was early evening, about time to call it quits again. Pickles was hanging with Nathan and Murderface, who were rather depressed from being locked up.  
They heard Toki scream. No words, just a scream.  
Pickles jumped up and ran to see what was wrong.  
“What’s tha matter? What happened?”  
Skwisgaar pointed, grinning.  
Whoa, there was a hole in the door. Not a very big one, but they’d finally broken through. Pickles reached through it, trying to feel for a latch or something.  
“Shit, there’s nothin’!”  
Skwisgaar nudged him aside. “Moves, I gots de longer arms.”  
He felt around with a look in intense concentration, jammed up to his shoulder in the hole, reaching as far as he could.  
“Well?”  
“Ja, I finds it. I’s tryings to gets it, I’s can justs barely reaches.”  
They waited, hoping.

The door _opened_.  
“Oh fuck yah dude, ya gat it!”  
Now if only they could get the cells open without having to chop them down. The hurried in to see. Latches. Huge ass, heavy, plain old latches. They yanked open the doors.  
Incredibly surprised and relieved, Nathan and Murderface followed them outside into the twilight, free.  
“Let’sh get the hell out of here!”  
“Dude, we’ve gat a problem with thet. Tha truck’s gat no lights on it, and tha road is shit, we’re gonna have ta wait ‘till mornin’.”  
“Oh. Then like, I guess we should go to where you’ve been staying?”  
Nobody had a better idea, so they headed back to their campsite.

Pickles apologized for the size of the lean-to, it wouldn’t hold all of them.  
Nathan didn’t care. “I just spent four days in a cage. I’m gonna sleep right here on the ground. Outside.”  
“Yeah, that shounds good to me too. I’m going to shleep right there.”  
They sat up for a bit first, discussing things. It was good to all be back together like this.  
“So Pickles? You’ve like, been down the road. And idea where we are?”  
“Naw, I think we’re pretty far from anywhere.”  
“What if we’s gets lost?” That was a good question.  
“Well uh, we’re like, _already_ lost. So it can’t get worse?”  
“Dat makes senses.”  
“I figure we’ll jest drive, and eventually we’ll find sahmthin’. We pretty much gotta, there’s jest naught thet much wilderness left anywhere.”  
And so, with a plan decided on, they went to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Charles was losing all hope. It had been four days now, and he hadn’t managed to find even a single lead, any trace at all. There _had_ to be something, but there was nothing.  
It was probably already too late, if they weren’t already dead they would be soon. As a general rule, people usually only lasted about three days without water.  
The only thing they’d found in all their searching was an empty canister. It was wiped clean, not even a partial fingerprint had been missed. Testing concluded that it had been some sort of homemade chemical concoction, most likely a type of knockout gas.  
What evil genius had created this, and for what purpose? There had been no ransom demands, there just seemed to be no point to this at all.  
Charles felt like a failure. He _should_ have prevented this from ever happening. And if he couldn’t do that, he _should_ have at least rescued them quickly and safely. He had failed them.  
The press had gotten wind of the story and kept calling, demanding a statement.  
He was stalling, avoiding them.  
He just wasn’t ready to face the truth.

 

Nathan woke up just after dawn, outside. It was so good to be out of that cell, he’d really expected to die in there. He saw that Toki and Pickles were already awake, so he went to sit with them.  
“Hi. Oh man, it’s good to be out!”  
“Hi Nathan, we is planning.”  
“Yah, we figure we should prob’ly eat sahmthin’ before we go, we might naught find any more food today. I don’t know how far it is ta anywhere.”  
Skwisgaar and Murderface came and sat down beside them, the conversation having woken them.  
“Scho how about more fisch?”  
“Ya, fishes is probablys easiest. I slept too long to catches anything last night.”  
Skwisgaar examined his bandaged hands and shook his head. “I wants to helps, but I tink dese hands will scares de fishes.”  
Nathan got his first good look at them. “Oh man, they’re all crusty looking. How’s it, like, look underneath there?”  
“I don’ts know, I’s scared to look. Can’ts be goods.”  
“You’s not fishings.”  
Murderface volunteered, “I’ll fisch, jusht schow me what to do.”  
“Okays.”

They all walked down to the stream.  
“Pickle, you cleans then as we go?”  
“Sure thing. Nat’an, Skwisgaar? Git us some firewood?”  
Toki was instructing Murderface the same way he’d taught Skwisgaar. Now they both stood in the stream. Murderface watched, impressed, as Toki grabbed one and sent it flying up the bank, where Pickles pounced on it. Okay, he could do this. He grabbed for one.  
He _almost_ lost it, it was quicker than he’d expected, but he managed to hold on and fling it out of the water. He’d get it right on the next one.  
Skwisgaar came for the lighter. “We’s get started on de ones you has readys.”  
With everyone working together, it wasn’t long before they were sitting around eating the fish.  
When they were finished, they headed for the truck, it was time.

They considered the truck, it was a piece of crap really. But apparently it ran, that was good.  
“Scho who’s going to drive anyway, Nathan?”  
“Uh, no. Pickles can drive, he’s already been down this road. Part of the way. But I get shotgun?”  
No one had a problem with that. They all climbed in.  
“Well we’ve only gat a half tank of gas, I hope thet’s enough ta git us sahmwhere.”  
“Just shuts up and drives, Pickle.”  
“Okie, here we go then.”  
It was slow going, the extreme lack of any kind of maintenance forced Pickles to pretty much crawl along. Eventually they came to the bodies in the road, but Pickles showed no sign of stopping.  
“Pickle? You can’t just drives over dem!”  
“Yah I can. Or do ya wanna git out an’ move ‘em?”  
Good point. No, nobody wanted to get out and move them. Pickles eased over them, and onwards.

It was very boring, crawling along slowly through the woods. But at least they were getting somewhere, or at least they hoped they were.  
They were also quite glad they’d taken the time to eat before starting out. They were all getting hungry again as the day wore on, but it was tolerable.  
Pickles was starting to glance at the gas gauge repeatedly, it was getting very low.  
There was a structure just up ahead, through the trees.  
As they got closer, they could see that it was a small cabin, it didn’t look like anybody was home. Pickles turned into the overgrown driveway.  
“We can’t git much further. We’re runnin’ outta gas, and we’ve gotta stop before dark anyway ‘cause we’ve gat no lights, so let’s jest stay here.”  
“Good ideas.”  
“Yeah, let’s um, check the place out.”

The door was locked, but a well placed kick from Murderface snapped the latch.  
As they went in, Nathan flipped the light switches, but nothing happened. “Huh, no electricity.”  
Toki found a phone but was quickly disappointed, there was no dial tone.  
It seemed that whoever owned the place had been gone for a while. Or maybe it was their second house, and they turned stuff off when they weren’t using it?  
They continued their inspection. There were only two rooms, one with beds and one with kind of everything else. The sink didn’t work either, so there was probably an electric water pump. Oh well. In a cabinet, they found a few canned goods and a case of bottled water, more than they needed.  
Helping themselves, they ate happily.

While there was still a little light, Nathan went out and broke into a small shed behind the cabin, hoping for a gas can. He got a little lucky, there _was_ a gas can. However, there was only a gallon or two in it, and it was probably really stale. Still, it was all there was, so he dumped it into the truck.  
Another inspection revealed nothing more of any real use, so he went back inside.  
They were discussing the sleeping arrangements, since there were only two beds. Big beds, yes, but still only two.  
Toki thought their arguments were stupid. “They’s big beds, we can alls fit.”  
“But dude, I don’t rally wanna share a bed with ya. Any of ya.”  
“We was sleeping together on the grounds, that didn’t bothers you.”  
“That’s diff’rent, that was... ya know, yer raight. We _should_ jest share.”  
“Well uh, who sleeps with who then?”  
Skwisgaar had been pondering this. “By sizes is probablys best. Mes, Toki, and Pickle get ones, and yous and Murderfaces get de udders.”  
That sounded reasonable enough. Nobody wanted to _not_ sleep on a bed, and under the circumstances, it wasn’t gay. Besides, nobody ever had to know about it anyway.  
The went to bed with several comfortable little sighs, and quickly fell asleep.

The next morning, after loading the few remaining cans of food and all the water into the truck, they continued on, eating on the way.  
The road had improved to poor quality dirt road, so they were getting to where people traveled, at least occasionally. Eventually it ended at a good quality dirt road. Which way should they turn? They had no idea.  
“Heh. Well if we guess wrong, we’re prab’ly screwed. Anybody wanna flip a coin?”  
“I doesn’t have a coin.”  
Murderface stepped out and put a water bottle on the hood. As they watched, he spun it. It pointed... kind of to the left. He shrugged, retrieved it, and climbed back in.  
“Well, uh, I guess we go left?”  
Pickles turned, and they continued on their way.

Finally, there was a real road ahead, one that looked like it was actually paved. It seemed that this had been the right direction after all.  
And then they ran out of gas.  
Well, it had only been a matter of time. Taking the last of the water with them, they got out and started walking.  
A couple hours later they saw a store. How could a store survive out here where they hadn’t even seen a car? But maybe there would be a phone, or maybe they could get some food.  
Finally, they came to it. It was small and dingy, but appeared to be open.  
Then they realized that they had no money.  
“Alreet, listen. We’re gonna steal some stuff ta eat. Anybody do much shopliftin’ when ya were a kid? No?” Pickles sighed. “We can’t all go in, that makes ‘em suspicious. So me an’... Toki will do it.”  
“Why’s me?”  
“Because yer skinny and ya gat a loose shirt. Look, I’ll distract ‘em, ya stuff whatever ya can in yer pants.”  
“I’s not sure I wants to eat stuff out of Toki’s pants.”  
“It’s naught a big deal, I did this shit a lot when I was a kid. Now Toki, go for stuff like jerky, naught stuff like chips. Gat it?”  
He nodded.  
“Tha rest of ya, wait here.”  
They went into the store.

Pickles engaged the tired looking woman behind the counter while Toki prowled the aisles. He learned that she didn’t have a phone, and the closest one she knew of was a about ten down the road. And no, they didn’t get much traffic around here.  
Deciding that had to be long enough, he called to Toki and they left.  
Rejoining the others out of sight of the store, they stopped to inspect the loot. A couple handfuls of those beef and cheese stick combos, some candy bars, and some packs of trail mix or something like that. It was a good haul, they divided it all up.  
“Look, she told me tha closest phone is ‘bout ten miles thet way, so I guess thet’s were we’re headed.  
They started off again, eating as they walked.

At last the phone was in sight. A pay phone, but there was always collect.  
And then they realized that they didn’t even know who to call.  
“I still tink we should just calls de butlers.”  
“But dude, what if he’s in on it?”  
“How’s we supposed to find that out? I guess I coulds call Rockso, he’d come gets us.”  
“Uh, no. I can’t deal with that clown right now. There’s gotta be somebody else.”  
Murderface had an idea. “Nathan, you don’t totally hate your parentsh. Call them, shee if they know what’sh going on.”  
“Um yeah. I guess I could do that.”  
They all waited as he placed the call. Well, at least the phone worked.

“Hey dad it’s me.”  
They waited, unable to hear anything from the other end.  
“No, I’m alright.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Oh, he called you guys? What’d he say?”  
“Okay. Uh, well bye then.”  
They were waiting.  
“Ofdensen’s uh, not dead. But he thinks we are. And they said he sounded like, really upset. So he probably didn’t try to kill us, right?”  
Well, probably not. “Dude, call ‘em then.”  
Nathan took a deep breath and did it. They waited expectantly.  
“This is Nathan, get me Ofdensen.”  
“NO THIS IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE! JUST GO GET OFDENSEN NOW!” Apparently _everyone_ thought they were dead. Why? It had only been six days.  
“Yeah, it’s really me.”  
“No, were all fine.”  
“Okay.” He turned to them. “He says to not hang up, they’re gonna trace the call and come get us. We’re supposed to just hang out and wait for them.”  
That sounded like a plan. They sat in the shade, munching on their assorted snacks and sharing the last of the waters.

A couple hours later (where the hell _were_ they?) there was a huge racket and the Dethcopter landed in the road. Very concerned Klokateers poured out, hurrying them inside. It was almost like being home.  
Ofdensen was there, waiting for them.  
Murderface, still not convinced of his loyalty, approached him threateningly with his knife in hand. “If you tried to kill ush, you better fucking tell ush now.”  
“I assure you, I did _not_ try to kill you, any of you. And if I every find out who did, I will personally rip them apart with my bare hands.”  
“That’sh good enough for me.”  
“Where were you all? I was told you were locked up somewhere, but I’ve been unable to find out where. Is this true? How did you get out?”  
Nobody seemed to know where to start, so Toki summed it up for him. “We climbs through the window, then we chops down the door. Then we drives for a while, breaks into a little house, and then robs a store and calls you. Want a candy bars?”  
“Somehow I think there’s much, much more to the story than that. And no, keep your candy. Are you all alright? Skwisgaar, what’s wrong with your hands.”  
Skwisgaar hid his bandaged hands behind his back. “Nothings.”  
Charles sighed. “You’re all going straight to the doctor when we get back.”  
The rest of the ride passed in peaceful silence. Or in as much silence as is possible on a helicopter anyway.

True to his word, they were taken to the doctor first.  
Pickles protested being examined. “There’s naughthin’ wrong with me! But Toki an’ Nat’an prob’ly got concussions, and Skwisgaar’s hands are a mess.”  
Murderface seconded that, “I’m fine too, jusht check them.”  
Charles looked at them sternly. “You’re all getting checked, but fine, we’ll do them first.”  
The doctor examined Nathan , finding the knot on his head. “Any dizziness, blurred vision, things like that?”  
“No. But I um, spent four days in a cell. Resting.”  
He was sent off for a cat scan, just to be sure.  
He checked Toki next, who also denied having any problems. “I’s fine.”  
“He’s not fines, he kept passings out and scarings us.”  
The doctor sighed. “Follow Nathan, get a scan too.”

Charles noticed Skwisgaar edging toward the door. “Skwisgaar, you’re getting those hands looked at now!”  
He made a face, and reluctantly presented them.  
The doctor looked at the crusty, stained cloth in horror. Then he carefully cut through it and started peeling it away from the wounds.  
It was not a pretty sight, Charles murmured worriedly.  
The doctor shook his head. “These are starting to get infected.”  
Murderface was impressed. “Damn Shwisgaar, you didn’t tell me it wash that bad! You were _chopping_ with thoshe?”  
Skwisgaar nodded, hissing as the doctor poured disinfectant over his hands.  
“He needs to come back after he gets cleaned up so I can bandage then properly.”  
Charles made a note of it. “Will they be alright? Skwisgaar, how could you do this to your hands? You know how valuable they are.”  
“Oh shuts up, deys insured.”

A bit later when they were all clean and well fed, there was a brief band meeting.  
Charles gave them the doctor’s results. “Well Pickles, Murderface, you two are in surprisingly good condition, he didn’t really find anything wrong with you. Nathan, you apparently have a mild concussion, but seem to be doing fine. Toki, yours is a little worse, he wants you to take it easy for a while. Skwisgaar, despite how they look, your hands should heal up just fine.”  
Skwisgaar flexed them. Between whatever ointment the doctor had put on them and the fresh bandages, they hardly even hurt at all.  
Charles continued, “I’m just glad you’re okay, and back safely. I’ve increased security around here, so you should be safe enough.  
Well, you all look pretty tired, so I won’t keep you any longer. Goodnight boys.”  
They wandered off, presumably to their rooms. 

Charles went to his office and sat, thinking. He would have to get the whole story from them at some point, unbelievable as it must be. He just _had_ to know.  
He hadn’t wanted to question them too much yet, they had been through a lot and needed some time to recover. But the little bits he’d learned from just listening to them didn’t even seem to fit together, and it was driving him nuts. Apparently they really had been locked up and left to die, yet they’d somehow gotten out and made their way to safety. As for everything in between, that’s where it got confusing. Murderface catching fish, Skwisgaar with an ax, Toki shoplifting...

If he ever managed to discover who was responsible for all this, he would truly fucking kill them.


End file.
